About Me

In 1968, I gave birth to our first daughter. As I was watching her asleep in her crib, overwhelming feelings of responsibility for this new life hit me. My relationship with my husband was shaky. We always argued about money. I was home alone with a new baby and no car. We had just purchased and moved (two weeks before she was born) into a new house in a new community.

We had no money to decorate it and struggled to make our monthly obligations and put food on the table. We agreed that we would do everything possible for me to be a stay-at-home mom. My husband commuted about 30 minutes from home and often worked nights and Saturdays. I often found myself in the grocery store after he got home, shopping for groceries or just needing an excuse to get out of the house.

Although I had gone to church with my family all my life, I felt this terrible emptiness and loneliness inside. I was considering getting a divorce, suicide or counseling. I decided not to get a divorce because I didn’t want our friends and family to think I had made a mistake. Suicide wasn’t an option either because I figured I would screw it up and end up in a vegitative state for the rest of my life. Not at all appealing. We didn’t have money, so counseling was out too.

Very quietly, I said, “God, I have heard people talk about you in a personal way. I know about you, but I don’t know you in that way. If you are real, please show me.” I left my daughter’s room that night feeling lighter, knowing that I had done all that I knew. Through a series of events in my life, I was connected to Christians and thus my walk with the Lord began.

It has been an exciting journey. My desire was to have all that God had for me no matter what it would take. I pray that as you read this BLOG, you will hear the heart of God for you.